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AMERICAN PITCHFORK'S DUPAYOSHAS OF THE WEEK

American Pitchfork Manifesto: Tipping Point on the Road to Amarabia?

A Fictional Retrospective From the Great Beyond

By Pitchfork © 2009-2011

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Freely quote with attribution

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Dupayosha of the Week of October 24, 2011   Angela Dorothea Merkel, née Kasner

Hmm.  Let ’Fork count the ways . . .

1. Another fat German

2. Best can-kicker in the EU – not a blue ribbon

3. Slapped down twice by a court bigger than her britches for trying to end-run the law by being more than she could be

4. Bought enough corrupt German Bundesblahblahs to keep the EU fires combusting – again, not a blue ribbon

5. Tolerated her French [read: inferior, albeit redundant] counterpart, but barely . . . (not) so much for unity

6. Did not get her green light to loan shark the sovereign snot out of the rest of the EU; hence, lost a third war – this one, before it even dawned on most folks

7. Ripe for a lock-in audition as Mrs. McGoo

8. Seems to like wars afield . . . who coulda guessed . . . it’s in the blood

9. Eschews nuclear . . . French contrarian?  Japanese contrarian?  Just contrarian for the German helluvit?

10. Eschews multiculturalism . . . well, that is a blue ribbon

11. And who wouldn't get all warm and fuzzy over higher taxes, centralized Merkelcare in deep red numbers, higher pension ages, and cleaning up messy old carbon footprints on those ample bosoms?