By Pitchfork © 2011

Blog of Week of April 11, 2011

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Freely quote with attribution

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Yep, these are all the 'Fork scrounged from 2012 wannabees, mebbes, passers-by, and put-ups.  The following opinions about 'em are 'Fork's first passes.

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Angle, Sharron Elaine, née Ott:  Good heart – how's the head?

Bachmann, Michele Marie, née Amble:  Good heart – how's the head?

Barbour, Haley:  Crone.  Part of the problem.

Biafra, Jello, né Eric Reed Boucher:  Who?

Bloomberg, Michael Rubens:  RINO.  Part of the problem.

Bolton, John Robert:  Might could be fun to witness.  Pros:  Almost everything.  Cons:  Outsider, feared

Brown, Scott Philip:  RINO.  Part of the problem.

Bush, John Ellis "Jeb":  Uncle!  Enuf, already.

Cain, Herman:  Can he endure to walk the walk?

Christie, Christopher James "Chris":  Devoutly to be wished; his reticence is honorable.  Pros:  Almost passes for non-Establishment.  Cons:  Too much Establishment encouragement

Clinton, Hillary Rodham:  Sorosianista.

Crist, Charles Joseph "Charlie". Jr.:  Devoutly not to be wished.    Part of the problem.  Cons:  Mostly.

Crocker, Robert Phillips "Bob", Jr.:  Unremarkable.

Daniels, Mitchell Elias "Mitch", Jr.:  Nope.

Dean, Howard Brush, III:  Whack-job.  Part of the problem.

DeMint, James Warren "Jim":  Mebbe.  Cons:  Establishment

Feingold, Russell Dana "Russ":  Not mebbe.

Gay, Tim, Sr.:  Who?

Gingrich, Newton Leroy "Newt", né Newton Leroy McPherson:  Oh, Lordy.

Giuliani, Rudolph William Louis "Rudy":  What’s in his baggage?

Graham, Lindsey Olin:  RINO.  Part of the problem.

Huckabee, Michael Dale "Mike":  Box of chocolates, all soft centers.

Huntsman, Jon Meade, Jr.:  White-shoe.

Jindal, Piyush Amrit "Bobby":  Endearing?  Yes.  Enduring?  Dunno.

Johnson, Gary Earl:  Might could try; near-on a career politician; same-old?

Karger, Fred:  Nope.

Kucinich, Dennis John:  Whack-job.  Part of the problem.

McDonnell, Robert Francis "Bob":  See Johnson above.

McMillan, James:  Oh, dear.

Moore, Roy Stewart:  Worthy on moral merits; might could wither on the 4-year vine.

Nader, Ralph:  Nope.

Obama, Barack Hussein, II:  Nope.  THE [immediate] PROBLEM.  Jihad isn't about leadership, isn't about better for America.

Paladino, Carl Pasquale:  New York, white-shoe.

Palin, Sarah Louise:  Nope – Shriek.

Pataki, George Elmer:  New York, white-shoe.

Paul, Ronald Ernest "Ron":  One-trick pony  Cons:  Hard to tell sometimes whether he's riding the rails or floating off of 'em

Pawlenty, Timothy James "Tim":  Weak, let you count the ways . . .

Pence, Michael Richard "Mike":  See Johnson above.

Perry, James Richard "Rick":  See Johnson above.  Pretty boy.  On Dancer, On Prancer, On Perry.

Petraeus, David Howell:  Doing-in a first-world society slowly and doing-in a fifth-world culture quickly are not the same; whereas either seems sufficient in its milieu, neither is appropriate to the cause.

Roemer, Charles Elson "Buddy", III:  See Johnson above.

Romney, Willard Mitt “not going to spend my time focusing on the Federal Reserve” = foot in mouth, head up butt [foot in mouth is kinda new] – this one fell far from the tree.

Root, Wayne Allyn:  Mebbe.

Rubio, Marco Antonio:  Mebbe more.

Rusher, Becky:  Who?

Ryan, Paul Davis, Jr.:  Who?  For TARP; in the same month coughed up a Pretender-hating, debt-drubbing budget proposal and a ‘negotiated’ DOA budget cut – mebbe not so schmart by half.

Sanders, Bernard "Bernie":  Whack-job.  Part of the problem.

Santorum, Richard John "Rick":  Mebbe.

Terry, Randall A.:  One-trick pony.

Thune, John Randolph:  See Johnson above.

Trump, Donald John, Sr.:  Coreless caricature.  Cons:  Platitudes and attitudes.  Pros:  Not so much.

Ventura, Jesse, né James George Janos:  Nope.

West, Allen Bernard:  The real deal; he’s no Petraeus, praise be.  Pros:  Mostly.  Cons:  Dunno

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