By Pitchfork © 2011

Blog of Week of JUNE 13, 2011

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Freely quote with attribution

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We're Staying.

Come the greater prospect of the fan-breeze filled days and nights, figured by now, he did, that Miss Bess'd say "OK.  Plan B.  OK.  The safer place that's been offered."  Or, mebbe, even "OK.  Plan C.  How about Chile [or else]?" 

No freakin' way.

"We're staying."  One of the spooky guys who pass by down all the days might could have called it the "die hole option" from 'Fork's way of thinkin.  But, that's just 'Fork, don't you know?

So, we're staying.

Now What?

Until only days ago, 'Fork, the dear old bugger, had just a vague, foggy, fuzzy, kinda squeezy-mushy sense of home security.  Yes, yes, a 12-gauge with #4 Bird on down.  Got it.  Yes, a 9 with 147 grain soft points.  Got it.

Recently [terms of months ago] had read a thing or two about home-home security [as opposed to physical home security - like firearms, like] - like, bad guys not inside], but not with the perspective 'Fork now gets that he'd better get:  We're staying.

Well, in 'Fork's opinion, the literature on the subject of hard-thought, hard-assed home security is akin to what 'Fork found in another of his lives when it came to down-home subjects like lighting for aging eyes, radon mitigation, framing forever, inviolable rules for laying out a kitchen, Tuscany style, etc. in custom home design and construction.  Sparse, incomprehensive, shallow, inconcise, contradictory, stoopid, politicized, stealthized commercials, impractical, inexperienced, etc., etc., etc.

Now what?  Spend bigtime reading, thinking, reading, and thinking some more, like you did, old boy, with so many other subjects that came to the surface as 1 part kinda interesting and 6 parts bull.

Now what?  This is the beginning of this blog subject.  There has to be more to it and to come.

Today's List of Home Security Stuff

• Cover windows from night light sight

  • 'Fork gets this as akin to blackout curtains on the East Coast in WWII, to cut back on offshore enemy targeting.

   

• Dog -

  • Don't care about big or little.  Do care about high grades for breed as watchdogs.  AG and The Missus, for years, had a Siamese that was every bit as vigilant and more than the pointer breed they had at the same time.  Super-easily aroused from slumber and as vocal as vocal gets.

   

• Door Devil

  • This is a product.  It's limitations seem . . . well, limited.  It might could make a big difference, especially in solid doors.  Pricy at $80 or so a pop.

   

• Hinges on interior (or otherwise remedy)

  • This is some kinda stoopid for a contractor to set exterior door hinges to the exterior, but even the dupayoshes who put up the current residence of AG and The Missus, did it once.  In commercial and industrial applications - with steel doors - the request is standard - if hinges go to the exterior, they pins are fixed.  But not with residential, exterior doors.  'Fork has a reference to workarounds somewhere in his trove, and he'll have to dig it out for one and all.

   

• Hook bolt lock – makers, among others, Medico, Triad, Sargent

  • This is not what 'Fork first thought - a through-door pin with a bigtime drop-hook (or bolt) latch.  This is a kind of locking mechanism that, for wood frame doors, comes off to 'Fork as easily subject to physical harm as it appears to rely a whole lot on jamb security and not structure and the latching looks whimpy.  Seems that 'Fork's first might could satisfy.  Mebbe even a serious, surface-mounted throw bolt at each rail.

   

• Laminate windows

  • Often referenced as 'shatterproof', this involves a film, supposedly best applied professionally to the interior of a glaze.  Different thicknesses.  Different clarities, from pretty near crystal to dark tints.  Mostly suggested for low-hanging fenestration, e.g., L0 anywhere, L1 near grade (including L1 abutting deck, etc.), L2 if easily accessed from grade.

   

• Lock vehicle doors in garage

  • Seems over[done], but this one showed up well more than once

   

• Motion detection exterior lights

  • Can't tell how much nuisance these could be in the realms of where the dear and the antelope play.

    Several decorator wall sconce styles.  Flood lights that 'Fork's seen came off to him as of marginal illumination relative to a two- or three-gang set of 100W floods

   

• Peep hole

  • Surprised the old guy; however, all three exterior doors in this residence are partially or majorly glazed . . . hmmm. Surprised the old guy again when even an interior door passaging habitable to garage got included, again, more than once. Wide angle, set around 50LI+ above floor level

     

• Secured frames to exterior doors and windows

  • Standard, general reference, with holes in application

  • No quarrel about 3-3.5LI sc...ws from window frame into structure, with cautionary notes about not tightening beyond the window frame's moment, i.e., not taking the frame out of true if there's not a solid blocking right where you're drilling

  • How many and where?  'Fork has his thoughts - cursorily, for now, not into head jamb (furshur, it is unblocked and underdimensioned headers can sag); not into stool (with its certainty to penetrate and thereby destroy whatever watershed material is wrapped over or set atop the sill frame); at least 4, 1 each near leg jamb butts and maybe one more each at jamb centerlines

   

• Take garage openers inside

  • At first, felt creepy.  At last, the geezer got over it

   

• Garage door

  • Tie-back the emergency release from casually opening; c-clamp each rail
     

• Extra fire extinguisher(s)

  • ABC
     

• Trim back bushes

  • Imprecisely presented as far as the 'Fork has seen so far, so here goes:  trim down to clear lines of sight to exterior from interior; clear back from building envelope for your own safety on exit and to diminish concealment; trim up to diminish concealment; trim back for both expanding lines of sight to exterior from interior and to exterior from exterior
     

• Security alarm

  • Mixed bag, and, in 'Fork's opinion rightly so.  Misplace 'em, undermaintain 'em, cut 'em out, rely on answering service follow up that's not there, intruder-overridden, battery backup, lightening damage, etc., etc., etc.  'Fork and The Missus have had several over the years and have been underwhelmed regarding big cost, big headache for false alarms, big disappointment from unresponse from third-party 'home office' connections, etc., etc.  Might could consider putting security alarm stickers prominently on exterior glazes, along with NRA emblems and Beware of Dog symbols.
     

• Windows

  • Bars . . . look funky, better be easily opened for emergency exit; travel blocks to sashes (double-hung and sliders), again, better be easily opened for emergency exit