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  PITCHFORKS (' POINTED POETRY)

By Pitchfork © 2011

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Freely quote with attribution

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GWEAT PWETEND'UH

September 4, 2011

~ Life imitates art and back atcha ~

Lywics adapted fwom “Great Pretender”* as migh’ could be sung by Bawney Fwank at Bo-bo’s** nex’ birfday bash:

[Ed.: Disambiguatio’ wocks.]

Oh-oh, yes I'm the gweat pwretend’uh
Pwetending tha’ I'm doing weww
My need is such I pwetend too much
I'm wonewy but no one can teww

Oh-oh, yes I'm the gweat pwetend’uh
Adwif’ in a wowwd of my own
I've pwayed the game but to my weaw shame
You've weft me to gwieve aw awone

[points in sweeping gestu’e to audience and then to atwass gwobe on a side tabow]

Too weaw is this feewing of make-beweve
Too weaw when I feew wha’ my h’art can' conceaw

Yes I'm the gweat pwetend’uh
Just waughin' and gay wike a cwown
I seem to be wha’ I'm no’, you see
I'm weawing my h’ar’ wike a cwown
Pwetending tha’ you’uh stiww awound

Too weaw is this feewing of make-bewieve
Too weaw when I feew wha’ my h’art can' conceaw

Yes I'm the gweat pwetend’uh
Just waughin' and gay wike a cwown
I seem to be wha’ I'm no’, you see
I'm weawing my h’ar’ wike a cwown
Pwetending tha’ you'uh stiww awound.

[points in sweeping gestu’e to audience and then to atwass gwobe on a side tabow]

 

* "The Great Pretender" is a 1956 song written by Buck Ram, first recorded by The Platters and, subsequently, many others.

** ‘Bo’ and ‘Bo-Bo’ refer to Barack Hussein Obama II and may be pronounced ‘Boe’ or ‘Boo’ depending on which seems more respectful.